Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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