im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So. Much. Porn.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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