worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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