fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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