The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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