girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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