Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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