Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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