I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
