dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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