You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
