put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
