he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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