what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
