Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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