Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
