Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
