Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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