im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize