The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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