I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
