Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
