your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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