Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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