God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just had sex on a roof
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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