It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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