I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
