What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
