"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
