Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize