I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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