I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You're like the curious george of whores
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
