i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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