I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
