I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
