Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."

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(815): View more from Illinois

Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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(281): View more from Texas

Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass

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(361): View more from Texas

Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?

(830): View more from Texas

It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.

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