You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize