he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
