Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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