Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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