she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
