im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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