it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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