my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize