I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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