This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
