You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
