im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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