he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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