Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I need to calm my uterus...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
