i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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