i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
