so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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