Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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