Define "chronic" masturbator.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
