Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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