I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
