the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
