He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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