I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
