Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
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I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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