don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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