just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need to calm my uterus...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
