At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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