i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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