Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
