i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
