How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
